


One Fish, Two Fish

by zsomeone



Series: Changes [3]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Fishing, Gen, too many cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:49:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8215367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: Long after Dethklok, Pickles visits Nathan in Florida.
  This is written in the Changes universe but can stand alone, if you’d just like to read some future Nathan and Pickles catching up.
Warnings: minor character death (mentioned)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is not based on any particular town, I wrote it in my head and then couldn’t find a real one that fit the location and demographics that I wanted. Anyway, it would be on the Florida Gulf coast, between Tampa and Fort Meyers. The town (I didn’t name it) is small and mostly low income, the population is fairly diverse. There’s a larger town not too far away where a lot of the residents work. It’s close to a large wilderness area.  
> Nathan’s mom lives about 45 minutes away. (Like I said, did this in my head without map checking, so it doesn’t really fit, sorry.)  
> Oh, it’s also summer in this.
> 
> Random facts from Changes that matter here: Nathan retired to Florida, Pickles and Knubbler moved to Los Angeles and own a recording studio and record label. (No they are not a couple.)

Pickles had forgotten how time zones worked, so instead of arriving in the afternoon he found himself landing at sunset. Oh well? Nathan had said he’d be waiting, hadn’t said the time was weird or anything.  
How had it been _years_ since they’d last seen each other? Life, it just kept happening.  
And there was Nathan, waiting for him.

Pickles grunted as he was bear hugged and lifted off his feet. “Oh we’re hugging now? We do thet?” But he squeezed back as well as he could. “You lost weight, you been werkin’ out?”  
Nathan put him down. “Nah, I’m still lazy. I just don’t eat as much crap as I used to I guess? Hey did you check a bag?”  
“Nah, all I gat is this,” he waved his duffle bag.  
They headed to the car.

Well actually it turned out to be a pickup truck, an older model but it seemed to run well. Nathan drove, he didn’t seem to have much to say. Or maybe just didn’t know where to start, it _really_ had been a while.  
Pickles decided to just start with the obvious then, “Sahrry I missed tha funeral.”   
“It’s alright. I mean, funerals are weird? Mom’s handling it pretty well though, I guess.”  
“It jest seems wrong, naught burnin’ them. Our kinda funerals?”

Nathan was quiet for so long that Pickles didn’t think he was going to respond, but he did. “Yeah. Fire just seemed right? Our tradition... but it wasn’t even ours, it was Toki and Skwigaar’s tradition. Unless they made it up? Whatever, it felt right.”  
“Yeah, it did. Viking funerals. Oh gawd, Affdensen’s was a bitch, remember?”  
“Ugh, yeah. Fucking manager, making us think he was dead when he really wasn’t! Uh, but my dad’s really dead though.”

“Do you miss him? You always liked yer dad okay.”  
“I don’t know? Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet or something? I mean, we didn’t do much anymore, he couldn’t, and I never really spent time with him except on holidays? So it’s like nothing’s really changed. Yet. In a way? Am I even making sense here, Pickles?”  
“I guess? I didn’t care back when my dad died, but I always hated thet douchebag. Mahm’s not much better, it’s always ‘bout Seth and tha gran’kids. I talk to her as liddle as possible.”

“Your mom still talks to my mom. I have to hear all about it.”  
“Ooh, heh. Sahrry.”  
“Yeah. I drive down once a month and take her to lunch. I just feel like I should for some reason? I dunno, it keeps her off my back otherwise. All she does is talk and talk about mostly people I don’t know at the retirement community, or your mom, or... I just zone out and eat my food, she doesn’t expect answers. Doesn’t ever stop talking long enough for them even if I wanted to.”   
“But it keeps her happy, raight? Thet’s nice.”

“Whatever. How’s work going? I guess you haven’t strangled Knubbler yet?”  
“Heh, nah he’s rally good at what he does, and our clients are a lat easier to werk with than we were. Ooh did I tell you about thet chick he was datin’ online?”  
“Uh... I think so? How’d that turn out?”  
“Well it terns out she’d lied about her weight, by several hundred pounds, and her age by at least twenty years.”  
“Oh god, I bet he freaked out! But he always only liked the kinds of chicks who would never have anything to do with him, so what’d he expect?”  
They both laughed. Knubbler had always been shit with women. It was probably better that way, given his history.

The drive was taking a while. “You rally do live in tha middle of nowhere, don’t you?”  
“I guess? But I like it.”  
“But yer all by yerself?”  
“No, I have cats. A lot of cats. Too many cats. I’m like, officially the crazy cat guy. But they all just started showing up!”

“Dood, cats breed like... well, _cats_. How do you even sleep?”  
“It’s not that bad! I trap them, as many of them as I can, and get them neutered. Then I let them back loose. There’s still kittens sometimes, but I find homes for as many as I can and neuter them too.”  
“And tha girl cats?”  
“Of course, everybody gets neutered.”   
“Pritty sure it’s a different word for girls...”  
“I don’t care. I just take them to the vet and say ‘neuter this’ and they do it.”

Finally they got to Nathan’s home.  
“Doooood.... You live in a trailer? Rally?”  
“Fuck you, it was way easier than having a house built! Also faster. And it’s pretty nice. And it’s off the ground, so less risk when it floods.”  
“Alreet alreet, well gimme a tour then.”

There were some cats, visible here and there. It didn’t look like an excessive amount to Pickles, but maybe there were a lot more he couldn’t see? They didn’t seem very tame, most of them moved away as they walked to the stairs, vanishing into the night.  
A few stayed put, like small furry sentinels, unmoving.  
At least they weren’t crazy, like the ones on that Wayward Kitty island they’d created a long time ago. 

Inside, there was a girl. “Nathan, your dinner’s on the stove, there’s enough to share. I may be a little late tomorrow? My brother has a game.”  
“Thanks Sienna. And don’t worry about it, we’re gonna go out on the boat tomorrow.”  
Pickles waited for an explanation, or introduction, but neither came.  
She grabbed her things and left, walking down the drive, and Pickles watched her go.

“Nathan? Thet girl’s about sixteen, you know thet, raight?”  
“Fifteen, and I know, that’s why I hired her.”  
“Nathan... thet’s rally illegal?”  
“NO! No, Pickles, You know me better than that!”  
“Well I _thaught_ I did...”  
“You do!”

They went inside, Nathan grabbed them both a beer from the fridge, and checked the pot on the stove. “She’s a neighbor. Look, her mom works at the bar in that town we passed through. Some nights she never even comes home, or gives her money, or even buys them food. So Sienna has been trying to take care of her brother by herself most of the time, but she’s too young to get a real job. I was worried she try hooking, too many do, I just couldn’t let her do that. So I hired her to cook and stuff.”  
“Thet actually makes sense.”  
I’m not a fucking child molester, Pickles.”  
“I know, dood! Sahrry!”

“Come on, I’ll show you the house.” Nathan led the way. “Guest room on this side, go ahead and drop your stuff. Sheets are clean, and there should be towels and everything.” The furnishings were nothing special, but serviceable. There was a large window, but it was dark outside so the view was unknown. “This was sort of supposed to be the master bedroom, but I like the one on the other end better.”  
Moving back through the kitchen and living area, they went down the hall. There was another bathroom, this one bigger, and a small bedroom that Nathan seemed to just use for storage. 

The bedroom on the end was oddly narrow, but spanned the trailer and had windows on three sides, and the last wall has mirrored closet doors. There were no curtains in here, or anywhere else in the home, Nathan liked the light and there was no one close enough to see in.  
Pickles nodded appreciatively, “I can see why you picked this one.”  
“When there’s a thunderstorm it’s fucking incredible!”

Nathan led them back to the kitchen and grabbed some bowls, handing one to Pickles. “Grab some and we’ll eat on the couch. I don’t know what it is, but whatever she makes is usually pretty good. She makes me lists and I just buy the stuff.”  
Pickles took the spoon and scooped up some... he wasn’t sure what it was either, but it did smell good. Somewhere between gumbo and something else? There only seemed to be enough for one meal, so she must cook for him every day.  
Nathan took the rest, stuck the pot in the sink and filled it with water, and grabbed them fresh beers.

They moved back to the livingroom and sat on the couch, eating and sipping their beers.   
“She calls you Nathan?” Pickles was still thinking about the girl. “And she walks home in tha dark?”  
Nathan waved off his concern, “She walks everywhere, she doesn’t live that far, she’s fine. And yeah, I don’t like all that “Mister” crap, told her to just call me by my name. Everybody here does.”  
“So yer naught the local celebrity?”  
“No. I mean, they all know who I am but they don’t care. I write checks for my groceries and they actually _cash_ them, my signature isn’t worth more than my $50 of food these days. But I like it, no one bothers me.” He thought for a minute, “Do you still do autographs?”

Pickles sighed. “Sahmtimes? It’s rare, but if sahmone rally wants it, sure why naught? Thet’s sorta my job anyway, be tha guy they know. Knubbler does most of tha work.”  
“Do you ever record you anymore? I haven’t seen your name on anything.”  
“Yeah I’ll do tha occasional guitar or drum track for sahmbody, or maybe another instrument if they want, but we sorta bury it. We want out clients to be known for their music, not my name. How ‘bout you, do you ever?”  
“No. Retired, remember?”

Pickles sighed, “I’m sahrry I can only stay one day, but I wanted to cahm down. It’s been too long.”  
“I know, you’re busy. Don’t worry about it. And I should go out there sometime, it’s not like I have a schedule or anything. It’s not all on you.”  
“So we’re rally going fishin’ tamorrow? I didn’t bring any SPF.”  
“I got some for you, don’t worry. I remembered. And yeah, it’s what I do. You’ll see why I like it out there.”

“Nathan? I git why you don’t cahm to LA, it’s fine.”  
“What do you mean?”  
Pickles gestured broadly, “This life you have here, people leavin’ you alone and all... Out there you’d still be Nathan Explosion.”  
“Uh, I still am anyway?”  
“But nobody cares here, thet’s my point.”  
Nathan just nodded.

They finished eating, and rinsed their bowls.  
“I know it’s probably early for you, but I don’t stay up late anymore. And I want to get an early start tomorrow, so we should probably go to bed.”  
“Alreet, but how early are we talkin’ ‘bout?”  
Nathan grinned ominously, “ _Early._ ”

*****

“HEY, PICKLES!”  
Pickles startled awake, and looked around to remember where he was. “Jeez, dood, what tha feck?! What time is it?” It was still dark outside, for fuck’s sake.  
Nathan was standing in the doorway, he flipped the light on causing Pickles to shield his eyes. “Get up, time to go!”  
“I always thought thet people goin’ fishin’ at tha crack of dawn was a joke...” But he dragged himself out of bed and got dressed.

In the truck, Nathan tossed him some sort of wrapped food. Opening it he found what was probably a granola bar, but square. “This looks suspiciously _healthy_.”  
“It probably is, sorry. Tastes good though.” Nathan was already eating his.  
Pickles tried it, and it did indeed taste good, so he ate it. He looked around as they drove, but there wasn’t much to see because it was still fucking dark. The streets were quiet at this hour.  
It wasn’t long before they reached the marina.

The dock was lighted, but everything seemed hazy and soft. Pickles didn’t feel all that awake yet, maybe that was why.  
Nathan parked close and got out. “Just let me dump out these coolers and then I’ll park for real.” He hopped out and grabbed a couple coolers from the back of the truck, then got back in. They parked not far away, in an actual parking lot. “Sorry, but I always go out on Wednesdays. And besides, there’s really nothing else to do around here.”  
Pickles just grunted, and followed him. Then he noticed the name of the boat....

“Are you fecking shitting me? Tha Wayward Kitty?”  
“Well, I have a lot of cats?”  
Pickles started giggling (not enough sleep, definitely not enough sleep) and climbed on board. It was a medium sized boat, compared to the others docked here. And there was a canopy, so some shade. Even with SPF (which Nathan had better not have been joking about) the option of shade was reassuring.  
Nathan loaded the coolers, untied the lines, and they headed out to sea.

Some time later, Nathan stopped. “I don’t drop anchor because I have no idea where the fuck the bottom is out here, but don’t worry we won’t drift far.”  
The sun was rising. The sea was calm this far from shore, and stretched to the horizon in all directions.  
Nathan spoke softly, “This might sound stupid but being out here reminds me of Mordhaus, just floating and alone.”  
“It’s fecking _beautiful_ ” Pickles was awake now. The sky reflected on the water, making it hard to see where one stopped and the other began. He understood, he felt it too.

“So, let’s fish.” Nathan got out a couple poles and an packet of fake worms. The worms were almost neon. “Look, I got 80's worms just for you.”  
“Yer an asshole. They bedder naught actually _be_ fram tha 80's”  
“No, they’re new. Uh, do you need me to bait your hook? I mean, you know how to fish, right? Everyone does?”  
“Yeah I know how to fish.” Pickles threaded a really bright worm on his hook. “I jest hope they’re in tha mood fer this.”

They fished in companionable silence, and the mystical dawn became regular daylight. The floating and isolation remained, and it was peaceful.   
Nathan tossed Pickles a tube of sunscreen, which he caught and applied. SPF 50, hell yeah.  
Pickles caught a fish, then another.  
Nathan caught more, but he had a lot more time to practice. He sorted their catch into specific coolers, there was some sort of system to it.

Nathan unhooked his latest catch and stowed it. “I don’t get it? You say Knubbler does everything, but you need to be there? I’m not complaining! Just wondering?”  
Pickles shrugged, “It’s a partnership. Of we sign sahmone, thet’s ohn us, so everything needs both our signatures.”  
“Huh. I guess that makes sense.”

“Hey Nathan? Why does this cooler say ‘cats’?” He’d only just noticed the label.  
“That’s for the junk fish, they’re cat food. This is how I feed them all.”  
“Oh. Well what about all tha rest?” They’d already caught more than Nathan could probably eat.  
“You’ll find out.”  
“Okie.” One of the coolers was full of beer, which they were drinking, so Pickles was happy to wait. It’s was oddly peaceful out here.

“Dating is hard when we used to be so famous.” Nathan had clearly been thinking about this, he cast his line back out and continued, “We were in the business so long and we all slept with so many chicks, how are we supposed to be _sure_ we’re not accidentaly picking up our own daughter? Some of them would definitely be old enough now.”  
“Cahm ahn, it’s naught like we didn’t use cahndoms.”  
“We didn’t though, not all the time. Especially if we were drunk. You know this, Pickles, and we were usually drunk. Why did we care? They were all STD free and signed paternity wavers, it wasn’t our problem.”

Pickles considered this. “I _think_ I could recognize my kid, if I met one. Me and Seth look rally alike, and his kids look like us too.”  
“That doesn’t work for me. I don’t look anything like either of my parents, I can’t even guess what my kids would look like. Sometimes I’ll meet a girl, and she’s cute, and we get talking, but I can’t help but wonder and they ruins it.”  
“Mebbe thet’s why Skwisgaar mostly fecked old ladies, only way to be sure they weren’t his kids?”  
“Ugh. Maybe.”

Pickles hooked a big one, and conversation paused while he fought to land it. “Nathan, help! It’s a shark or sahmthing!”  
“You’re doing great! And it’s not a shark.”  
“Help me you douchebag!” He had his feet braced on the boat rail, pulling with both arms.  
“No. You almost have it, I’ll get the net.”  
Pickles was disappointed to see the actual size of the fish Nathan lifted over the side. It wasn’t all that huge after all, just a fighter. “You could’ve at least been a shark,” he grumbled at it.

Pickles had noticed how Nathan had brought up dating but then backed off. After a while and several more beers, he decided to just ask, “So are you seeing anybody or naught?”  
“Sort of. It’s complicated.”   
But he looked like he wanted to talk about it, so Pickles pressed for more. “Why, are they married? Or a dood? I don’t care if it’s a dood.”  
“Yeah. I mean she’s married, she’s not a dude! And uh, he knows about me.”

“I wanna hear this! And are you sure she’s naught yer kid?”  
“No, she’s too old. Not like _old_ , she’s younger than me, but not young enough to be my kid.” He paused, thinking where to start. “There’s a bar in the next town, I go there sometimes. I met her there.”  
“Did she recognize you?”  
“Yeah. I think that’s why she talked to me in the first place. She told me she was married and didn’t want any strings, and asked if I was okay with that. So I said sure, and she took me home to meet her husband.”

“Whoa! How’d thet go?”  
“Fine? He’s a good guy, and nice. And they really love each other, you can tell. But, I’ve never asked why, but they don’t have sex. He can’t? Or something? I dunno. But he wants her to be happy, and safe. So they’d been looking for someone.”  
“Kinda weird there, Chief.”  
“Yeah I know, I thought so too, but it works.” He shrugged.

“Are you in love with her?”  
He shook his head, “No, that’s why it works. And she’s not in love with me either. We’re sort of friends though, I guess? Look, he’s cool with it, she’s devoted to him, and it beats going out and trying to find someone that’s _definitely_ 100% not my kid.”  
“I git it.” Pickles looked a little sad, and shrugged. “Me, I hardly ever feck anymore. You know I had whiskey dick issues even back then, that never got better. I tried tha drugs, but I’m pritty much immune to everythin’ and they don’t work ahn me.”  
“Oh Pickles. That’s really depressing.”

Pickles waved off his concern, “It’s fine, it’s my life. And heh, I can’t accidently feck my kids.” He shrugged, “And it does still werk sahmtimes.”  
“Oh god we’ve become those creepy old guys in commercials who talk about their dicks! Quick, change the subject!” But he was laughing.  
Pickles couldn’t change the subject, he was laughing so hard he even dropped his pole. Fortunately there was no fish on it.  
Eventually they got themselves under control.

Nathan checked the time. “Okay. Let’s head back in, we’ve got plenty.” They put their poles away.  
They drove, apparently just randomly east, Pickles had no idea how he was navigating but he said he did this a lot, so it’d be fine.  
They eventually came back in sight of land, but it looked wild.  
Nathan was unconcerned. “We drifted a bit south, that usually happens.”

They ran parallel to the coast, back into civilization. There were other boats out, scattered around, some of the occupants waved, and they waved back. Friendly place, or they just all knew Nathan.  
It didn’t take too long to get back.  
As they pulled into the marina, Nathan picked up an air horn and gave three long blasts.  
Too late, Pickles covered his ears, that was way too loud at this range. “What tha feck was thet fer?!”

Nathan just grinned and maneuvered into his spot, tying off.  
By the time he’d gotten all the coolers on the dock, the kids were there. Pickles turned around to find assorted kids of multiple races and all different ages, and all carrying coolers or sacks, or there were even a few pillowcases in the mix. So this is what Nathan did with the fish, heh. He sat on the cat cooler to watch. Some of the kids were staring at him, probably recognizing him, so he waved to them and got some grins in reply.

Nathan seemed to know all of them, he spoke to each as he handed out the fish. There was no pushing, it seemed they’d done this many times, they just waited. Some of them hugged him when it was their turn, Nathan seemed cool with it. It was obvious that the people here were comfortable with him and liked him, not because he used to be famous, but because of who he was.  
It was so far from the life Pickles led, he was almost envious. But this life wouldn’t suit him, he liked his work and all the stress and excitement that came with it.

When all the fish were gone, Nathan rinsed the coolers and set them back on the boat. The cat cooler and the beer cooler, the ones they’d brought from the house, went with them.  
“Hey Nathan? What ‘bout tha girl, you don’t save her fish?”  
“Remember the boy in the blue shirt? That’s her brother, he picked up their fish.”  
Pickles didn’t remember any specific child, but nodded anyway, and they drove back to Nathan’s place.

*****

They got out and Nathan grabbed the cat cooler, “Hey Pickles, watch this!” He carried it to the porch, there was a large triangle hanging there, a metal rod hanging beside it.  
Knowing what was coming this time, Pickles covered his ears.  
Nathan rang the triangle fast and long, and here came all the cats. Cats seemingly pouring out of thin air, there had been few visible but now a swarming mob had formed. Nathan tossed fish around, and cats split off to eat. Apparently they shared. When all the cats were eating, there were still a lot of fish left but he closed the cooler.  
Pickles carefully made his way through the cats, who, aside from a few appraising stares, ignored him. “You weren’t kiddin’, thet’s a feckload of cats.”

The girl came out, she was there, and picked up the cooler. “I’ll put the rest of these away, and I have the pizza ready to go whenever you’re ready.”  
“Thanks Sienna. Pickles, you hungry?”  
“Yeah I could eat. What kinda pizza?”  
“I don’t know? She makes it, so not frozen.”

They all went inside. The girl went in a door Pickles hadn’t noticed, utility room or something, there was a spare fridge in there. She started stashing the fish. “Nathan? Put the oven on 450?”  
“Okay, done.” He set the dial and turned back to Pickles. “We have time to eat before you have to go. And hey, you’ll get to actually see the scenery this time, it won’t be all dark.”  
They sat on the couch while Sienna put the pizza in the oven.

A lot of cats were visible through the window, apparently they hung around after feeding.  
“I read thet if you die, cats will eat you.”  
“Yeah? Brutal.”  
“With as many cats as you’ve gat here... nobody’d ever even know.”  
“One day I’d just disappear! Devoured by cats... no, not a very good song title.”

Pickles changed the subject again, “Does yer lady ever cahm here?”  
“No, I always go there. This is my space, that would just feel weird.”  
“And thet _doesn’t_?”  
“They have a, I dunno, guest house or something out back. We meet there. It’s not like we fuck in front of him.”

Pickles seemed satisfied with that answer.  
Nathan called toward the kitchen, “Hey Sienna, if you want to go now you can. I can take it from here, just leave me the timer.”  
“Okay, thanks Nathan.” She set it on the coffee table in front of him and grabber her purse.  
Pickles waved goodbye, she smiled and waved back.

*****

After they’d ate and it was time to go, the trip back to the airport was mostly quiet.  
Pickles watched the scenery, though a lot of it looked pretty similar. Well, Florida. There were less alligators and giant snakes that he’d expected, actually he hadn’t seen any of either, but otherwise it was about what he’d thought it’d be. Hotter now that they were inland, but the truck had working air conditioning.  
It was hard to believe that later tonight he’d be back in Los Angeles, it seemed like a whole different world.

Finally they were at the airport, time was up.  
“Come here, fucker.” Pickles found himself bear hugged again, and didn’t mind at all.  
“I’m gonna miss you, big guy.”  
Nathan put him down. “We need to do this more often that _years_. Make me come visit you, make me.”  
“Heh, well I’ll give it a shot. And I’ll try to git back down here sooner next time.”

And then he had to go.


End file.
